MEETING 1 ALTERNATE UNIVERSE 2

Today's agenda is to discuss the meaninglessness of our to-do list. We have:

Meeting 1 Agenda Meeting 2 Action Items Meeting 3 Nitpicking

Meeting 4: Free Food and a 30% off coupon on the conference room's coffee machine.

Subtopic 4: We're still stuck in this meeting. Disclaimer: Meetings are not actually productive.

Meeting 1 Agenda

Item 1: Discuss the importance of having 17 meetings per week.
Item 2: Debate the merits of using Comic Sans for all official documents.
Item 3: Debate who ate the last donut in the break room.

Meeting 2 Action Items

Action Item 1: Create a new meeting to discuss the lack of progress.
Action Item 2: Assign someone to take notes, but make sure they're not actually doing any work.
Action Item 3: Decide on a new font for the meeting minutes.

Meeting 3 Nitpicking

Nitpick 1: The conference room chairs are too comfy.
Nitpick 2: The free donuts are too small.
Nitpick 3: We should've had a meeting about this meeting.

Meeting 4: Free Food

Cupcakes with sparkles.
Free coffee, but not too free.
One free hug per customer.

Disclaimer: The coffee machine has been on the fritz.