Section 1: Mandatory Break Time (Article 3, Subsection 2)
We, the undersigned, agree to:
- Acknowledge that the vending machine has been sufficiently stocked with stale coffee and day-old donuts.
- Respect the hierarchy of the break room fridge, with Senior Management's lunch taking precedence over everyone else's leftovers.
- Never, ever, under any circumstances, touch or move the stapler.