Meeting 7: Secret Ketchup Formula Revealed

After months of deliberation, countless spreadsheets, and several heated arguments, we have finally achieved the perfect balance of tangy and sweet. The secret ketchup formula is:

42.5% Red Wine Vinegar

Because, why not?

Also, 17.3% High-Fructose Corn Syrup, because priorities.

And, of course, 40.2% of the finest imported French Onion Powder, because authenticity matters.

Why the Onion Powder?

Because, let's be real, who needs actual onions when you have powdered, processed, and reconstituted onion flavor?

P.S. Don't @ us, we're trying

Download the Secret Ketchup Recipe in PDF format (not that it's a secret anymore)