MEETING 8: DECISIONS 24
Today, we will be discussing the following 24 decisions:
- Decision 1: Whether or not to eat the leftover pizza from meeting 7
- Decision 2: The optimal number of chairs for the conference room
- Decision 3: Who will be the new "Pointy-Haired" of the team
- Decision 4: The best way to spend the company's budget on useless swag items
- Decision 5: Whether or not to take a 3-hour break to watch cat videos
- Decision 6: The most efficient way to procrastinate on our tasks
- Decision 7: The best way to deal with the existential dread of our impending deadlines
- Decision 8: Who will be the new "Coffee Connoisseur" of the team
- Decision 9: The optimal number of memes to send to our colleagues
- Decision 10: Whether or not to have a meeting to discuss the meeting
- Decision 11: The best way to deal with the awkward silence that always precedes a meeting
- Decision 12: The most efficient way to create 1000 pointless Powerpoint presentations
- Decision 13: The best way to get out of a meeting that we're not supposed to be in
- Decision 14: Who will be the new "Meeting Maestro" of the team
- Decision 15: The optimal number of "synergy breaks" to fit into our schedule
- Decision 16: Whether or not to have a meeting to discuss the fact that we're having a meeting
- Decision 17: The best way to deal with the impending doom of our quarterly goals
- Decision 18: The most efficient way to create 50 pages of unnecessary meeting minutes
- Decision 19: The best way to get a meeting with a senior manager to beg for more resources
- Decision 20: Who will be the new "Meeting Mastermind" of the team
- Decision 21: The optimal number of pointless exercises to fit into our agenda
- Decision 22: Whether or not to have a meeting to discuss the fact that we're not having a meeting
- Decision 23: The best way to deal with the existential dread of our impending layoffs
- Decision 24: The most efficient way to create 200 pointless action items
Meeting 9: DECISIONS 27