Weekly Reporting Standards Committee

Welcome, esteemed members of the Weekly Reporting Standards Committee. This is the place where meetings go to die. Literally.

We're a group of highly trained professionals who have dedicated their lives to creating reports so bloated, so convoluted, so utterly incomprehensible that they will be the envy of the entire business world.

Our mission is to craft reports that read like they were written by a committee of 12 blind, drunk people trying to describe a sunset to each other over the internet.

Our meeting schedule is as follows:

• Meeting of the Very Long-Winded People
• Meeting of the Slightly Less Long-Winded People
• Meeting of the Somewhat Briefly Focused People

Don't forget to bring your A3 binder and your extensive knowledge of Microsoft Excel macros to every meeting.

See you in meetings!