Monday Meeting Forecast: 100% Chance of Redundancy

10:00 AM - Project Update: 10% chance of progress, 90% chance of rehashing the same old thing
11:00 AM - Team Standup: guaranteed 100% chance of hearing the phrase "We're right on track, don't worry"
12:00 PM - Lunch: 100% chance of stale sandwiches, 50% chance of microwaved coffee
1:00 PM - Status Update: 100% chance of unnecessary jargon, 50% chance of "I'm on my way to the conference room, just gotta go grab a coffee first"