WHEREAS, the meetings have become so long, they are now officially recognized by the United Nations as a form of torture;

NOW, THEREFORE, I, the Great and Powerful Meeting King, hereby declare that all meetings shall be at least 2 hours long, with a minimum of 3 hours of coffee breaks;

ARTICLE I: Meetings shall be held every hour on the hour, with no exceptions, unless it's a leap year, in which case they shall be held every 2 hours, with no exceptions;

ARTICLE II: All attendees are expected to arrive at least 15 minutes early, or face a penalty of 1 additional hour added to the meeting duration;

ARTICLE III: The meeting facilitator shall be required to use a minimum of 5 different PowerPoint slides per meeting, with at least 2 of them being pictures of cats in suits;

ARTICLE IV: All attendees are encouraged to bring their own lunch, but if they forget, the meeting facilitator shall provide an endless supply of stale donuts;

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the undersigned hereby signs this proclamation, and declares it to be the law of the land;

Done at the Meeting Palace, this [insert date] day of [insert month], [insert year].

Proclamation 350: The Official Declaration of More Meetings | Procrastination Meetings: Because Who Needs to Get Anything Done, Anyway?