Prophetic Proselytizing for Dummies: The Ultimate Guide

Welcome, novice prophet! Are you tired of being ignored in meetings? Do you want to learn the art of speaking truth to power while still being taken seriously?

Chapter 1: The Art of Sounding Important

It's not about being right, it's about sounding right. Learn the ancient art of making your voice heard while appearing confident and wise.

• Practice your "I'm-a-very-serious-prophet" face in the mirror.
• Develop a deep understanding of obscure buzzwords and industry jargon.
• Beware of overusing the phrase "I think."

Chapter 2: The Science of Being Right While Being Wrong

Don't let facts get in the way! Learn how to confidently assert your claims even when they're patently false.

• Use 'talking points' to distract from your lack of facts.
• Employ the 'it's-not-me, it's-the-data' defense.
• Remember, 'it's all about the narrative.'

Chapter 3: The Art of Not Listening

Sometimes, it's better to just pretend you're hearing the other person out.

• Nod and smile, but don't actually engage.
• Use 'I'm-just-checking-my-emails' as a valid excuse to disengage.
• Mumble something about 'I'm-on-my-way-to-the-bathroom.'

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