I am a prophet, and I shall speak truth to those who shall listen.
For too long have the masses been swayed by the whims of the masses, and the reports they produce are a jumbled mess of pointless data.
But I shall bring order to the chaos, and shine the light of clarity upon the dull, grey stones of bureaucracy.
My reports shall be a symphony of insight, a chorus of clarity, a... well, they shall be a report that someone, somewhere, might actually read.
View my most recent report: Report of the Reports Learn more about my prophetical methods