Meet Alan the Awkward
Alan is a prophet of the utmost awkwardness. His prophecies are often shrouded in confusion, leaving his followers questioning the very fabric of reality.
Despite his best efforts, Alan tends to spill coffee on his notes, knock over his chair, and forget what he was saying mid-sentence.
His most famous prophecy was "I think... I think... uh... the apocalypse... or maybe it's just the laundry?"
Meet Steve the Chronic Dreamer
Steve is a prophet of unrelenting dreams. His prophecies are a jumbled mix of lucid dreaming, sleepwalking, and half-remembered fragments from his favorite video games.
Steve's prophecies often involve giant spiders, talking animals, and alternate realities where the laws of physics are merely suggestions.
His most famous dream-prophecy was "I was a giant chicken riding a unicorn through a field of rainbow-colored skyscrapers... wait, no, was I a unicorn riding a giant chicken?"
Together They Shall Ride
Despite their differences, Alan and Steve have formed an unlikely alliance, combining their prophecies to create a vision of the future that is both bewildering and hilarious.
Join us in the Meeting Prophets Lounge, where the lines between reality and absurdity blur.
Learn more about Steve's latest dream-prophecy