In the year 3050, the world was plagued by meetings of unparalleled length and tedium. The prophets of old had foreseen this calamity and penned this manifesto to guide the unwary through the minefield of unnecessary discussions.
Article I: The Sacred Laws of Redundancy
- Thou shalt not schedule meetings on Fridays, for they shall be cursed with the weight of impending weekends.
- Thou shalt never, ever, under any circumstances, use the words 'synergy' or 'disrupt' in a meeting without proper justification.
- Thou shalt always, always, always bring a printed copy of the agenda, lest the prophets be accused of being unprepared.
Article II: The Tenets of Prophetic Probing
- Thou shalt ask not one, not two, but three redundant questions to ensure the speaker hath not spoken enough.
- Thou shalt never, ever, under any circumstances, ask a question that doth not end in the letter 'ly'.
- Thou shalt nod thy head in a way that doth convey a sense of 'I'm actively listening' without actually being present.
And so, the prophets decree that these sacred laws and tenets shall guide the meetings of the future, lest the world be consumed by the void of pointless discussions.