Prophet of the Void

Specializing in predictions of nothingness, this prophet has a knack for telling you that the apocalypse will definitely not come, probably.

See Void's predictions

Prophet of Unrelenting Optimism

With their patented "everything will get better, I swear!" technique, this prophet will put a smile on your face, even if it means lying.

See Optimism's predictions

Prophet of the Inevitable Doom

This prophet sees the writing on the wall, but the wall is just a really old, really dirty wall that's been there since the 90s.

See Doom's predictions

Prophet of Randomness

This prophet has a PhD in "Maybe, possibly, possibly not?" and can predict that anything might happen, or might not.

See Randomness' predictions