Meetings are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. But with this guide, you'll always know exactly what you're getting: a whole lot of nothing.
Step 1: Prepare for the meeting by doing absolutely nothing. No emails, no reports, no research. Just show up, sit down, and stare at your watch.
Step 2: When the meeting starts, pretend to be interested. Nod your head, make eye contact, and ask the occasional "uh-huh".
Step 3: When someone tries to make you do actual work, politely decline. "Sorry, I'm on a tight deadline... to do nothing."
Step 4: When the meeting ends, take 30 minutes to "wrap up" by browsing social media or playing Solitaire.
That's it. Follow these simple steps, and you'll be a meeting pro in no time.
Method 2: The Art of Pretending to Listen
Method 3: The Art of Nodding and Smiling
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you could try: