The prophets of Procrastination: Masters of the Delayed

Welcome to Procrastination Techniques: The Ultimate Guide for Meeting Martyrs

Are you tired of meeting after meeting, with no end in sight? Do you find yourself constantly putting off tasks, only to have them pile up like a mountain of paperwork? Fear not, dear procrastinator, for we have the solution to your problems.

Technique 1: The Art of the 5-Minute Meeting

Meet the 5-Minute Meeting, a technique where you commit to attending a meeting, but only for exactly 5 minutes. This allows you to pretend you're interested, while still maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

Example: If a meeting is scheduled for 1 hour, tell your boss you'll be there for 5 whole minutes, and that's it.

Technique 2: The Power of the To-Do List

Meet the To-Do List, a magical tool that will make you forget about your responsibilities, while still feeling productive.

Example: Write down every single thing you need to do, and then promptly forget about it.

Technique 3: The Science of Distraction

Meet the Science of Distraction, where you focus on anything but the task at hand. This could be a fascinating article, a cat video, or a particularly interesting spreadsheet.

Example: Stare at a wall, or focus on your shoelaces.