Weekly Burnt Toast Prophecies
The Oracle of the Fridge
Meet our most trusted Prophet, tasked with divining the burnt remains of last week's toast.
By the power of burnt offerings, our prophet has gazed into the abyss of the crisper drawer and foreseen:
- There will be a 2-for-1 sale on artisanal jam this Thursday.
- Our toaster will soon be replaced by a more advanced model.
- A mysterious force will soon cause all eggs to be laid on their sides.
A burnt toast from our archives:
- January 2018: Burnt toast with a hint of desperation.
- February 2019: Burnt toast with a sprinkle of regret.
- March 2020: Burnt toast with a dash of existential dread.