By the power vested in me, I foretell the arrival of the weekend. A time of rest, relaxation, and possibly a few too many Netflix shows.
According to my crystal ball (a slightly-dusty, old TV screen), the weekend will bring:
1. A 50% chance of precipitation (i.e., a 50% chance of rain, but let's be real, it'll probably just be drizzle)
2. A 100% chance of existential dread (i.e., the crushing realization that you'll never be as productive as you thought you'd be)
But fear not, dear reader, for I have foreseen a solution:
Visit our Next Prophesy for more weekend predictions and possibly some decent advice.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Alternate Prophesy for some truly absurd and possibly disturbing predictions.