Appendix B - The Great Decision Maker's Mantra
In a world where meetings have consumed our lives, it's time to tap into the ancient secrets of the Great Decision Maker. This appendix is a collection of the most powerful incantations to imbue your next meeting with the power to make decisions, not just attend them.
The Mantras of the Ancients
- "Decision, decision, it's all about the decision" (Repeat 7 times, while gazing into a mirror)
- "We're on the same page, no, seriously, we're on the same page" (Wave your hands wildly)
- "Let's just table this, no, let's not, wait, what were we discussing?" (Stare intensely at the ceiling)
Advanced Techniques for the Modern Meeting Master
For those who have mastered the basics, we recommend the following:
- Use a whiteboard to draw meaningless diagrams
- Maintain a 3:1 ratio of PowerPoint slides to actual content
- Pretend to be on a conference call while secretly browsing cat videos
Visit our sister site, Prophecies of the Meeting Prophets for more esoteric meeting techniques.
Return to the Ancient Art of Meetings