Prophetic Proclamations from Prophet Sarah

Here are the latest, most unapologetically vague predictions from the esteemed Prophet Sarah:

Prophetic Proclamation 3:

By the power vested in me, I foretell:

1. The coffee machine in the break room will break, but only on Tuesdays.

2. The stapler will run out of staples, but a fresh pack will arrive in exactly 4.2 seconds.

3. The microwave will start playing 'Who Let the Dogs Out' on repeat.

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