Prophet of the Absence of Matter

Our team's expert in predicting when nothing will happen.

• Prophets of the Absence of Emptiness
• Prophets of the Absence of Duration
• Prophets of the Absence of Velocity

Prophets of the Absence of Matter: Our Methods

Our team uses a variety of unscientific methods, including:

• Staring at a wall for 30 minutes
• Rolling a dice
• Reading ancient tomes of forgotten lore

Our Results:

We have a 99.9% success rate in predicting when nothing will happen.

This is a statistically significant improvement over our competitors.

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Meet Our Team

Our team consists of experts in various fields, including:

• Prophet of the Absence of Matter (PAM)
• Prophet of the Absence of Emptiness (PAE)
• Prophet of the Absence of Duration (PAD)
• Prophet of the Absence of Velocity (PAV)

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