As the world teeters on the brink of collapse, the Prophets of the Apocalypse have gathered to share their visions of the future. Below, you'll find the 2024 Outlook, a collection of predictions from the most esteemed (and slightly unhinged) prophets of our time.
The year of the Great Reset is upon us, and it's going to be a wild ride. Here's what we're expecting:
We're predicting widespread droughts, floods, and spontaneous combustion (just kidding, but wouldn't that be something?). The weather will be so bad, you'll need to bring an umbrella, sunscreen, and a fire extinguisher to work every day.
Learn more about the Climate Chaos.
Get ready for a robotic revolution like you've never seen before. Our machines will be so smart, they'll be making their own predictions. But don't worry, they'll still be nice to us humans (mostly).
Read more about the Cybernetic Uprising.
It's not like we didn't see it coming. The aliens have been watching us, studying us, and laughing at our reality TV shows. Get ready for an intergalactic takeover like no other.
Find out more about the Alien Invasion.
That's all for today, folks. Stay tuned for more Prophetic Predictions. Or, you know, just go ahead and start building your bunker.