Our team of prophets has been analyzing the omens and portents, and we're here to tell you what's in store for the world in 2024.
Top Prophetic Trends:
- Increased likelihood of spontaneous combustion, especially among middle-management types.
- Proliferation of artisanal, small-batch, hand-crafted doomsday scenarios.
- Continued dominance of avocado toast in the global apocalypse food market.
Stay tuned for more updates from the Prophets of the Apocalypse, or check out our other subpages for more apocalyptic insights:
Don't forget to tune in next week for our special "Apocalypse Survival Guide" series, where we'll be sharing our expert advice on how to survive the coming doomsday.