PROPHETS OF THE APOCALYPSE - COMMITTEE OF THE APOCALYPSE
Prophecy of the Caffeine Overload
By the power vested in us, we have foreseen the coming of the Great Caffeine Overload. It shall be a time of dark despair, as the masses succumb to the allure of the coffee shop. But fear not, for we, the Prophets of the Apocalypse, have devised a plan to guide humanity through the coming storm.
Our research indicates that the Overload shall begin at precisely 3:00 AM, when the first wave of morning caffeine-starved zombies shall rise from the depths of the office cubicles. We have identified several key indicators that signal the approaching apocalypse:
| The sound of keyboards clacking in unison | The aroma of burnt coffee wafting through the halls | The eerie glow of screens illuminating the faces of the undead |
| The cacophony of meetings and conference calls | The faint scent of desperation wafting from the break room | The eerie silence of the bathrooms, as the toilets run dry |
Recommendations for Survival
- Stock up on emergency supplies: coffee beans, Red Bull, and earplugs.
- Establish a safe zone in your home, free from the grasp of the Overload.
- Learn to meditate, or at the very least, pretend to.