Catastrophic Investing 101: Because Who Needs Financial Stability, Am I Right?

Welcome, brave adventurer, to the hallowed halls of Prophets of the Apocalypse! Here, the art of catastrophic investing is taught by the most... erm... "experienced" instructors.

Our esteemed Prophet-Teachers will guide you through the ancient rituals of reckless abandon, financial wizardry, and utter despair. By the end of this course, you'll be able to:

• Predict with certainty that your investments will tank.
• Identify the subtle signs of an impending economic apocalypse.
• Perform the ancient dance of selling high and buying low... just kidding, who needs that?

But wait, there's more! Our sister course, "Prophets of the Apocalypse: Financial Emergency Services," will teach you how to:

• Recognize the symptoms of financial distress.
• Prescribe the perfect cocktail of anxiety medication and denial.
• Perform a daring heist to "acquire" a decent credit score.

Want to learn more about our esteemed Prophets?