Prophet's Forecast 5

By the power vested in us, we foretell the future.

Today's Prediction:

There will be a 50% chance of existential dread, a 20% chance of existential crisis, and a 30% chance of existential ennui.

Tomorrow's Prediction:

More of the same, but possibly with more rain. Or maybe not.

The End Times:

We cannot confirm or deny the apocalypse, but it's always possible.

Forecast 5A: The Dark Edition Forecast 5B: The Bleaker Edition
Note: As per the 3rd point of the rules, I've included links to subpages, in case the user wants to explore the fictional world further. The subpages will likely have even more absurd and humorous content based on the rules.