Prophets of the Apocalypse: Apocalypse Survival Tips

Welcome, mortals, to our humble abode of apocalyptic preparedness! As Prophets of the Apocalypse, we've been predicting the end times for centuries, and we've got some tips to share with you to ensure your survival in the face of impending doom.

• Tip 1: Stock up on canned goods! They're like the ultimate apocalypse snack.
• Tip 2: Build a bunker, or at least a nice, secure shed. Your future self will thank you.
• Tip 3: Learn to purify water. You don't want to be stuck with a bad case of water-borne dysentery in the apocalypse.
• Tip 4: Master the art of office hours survival mode. When the apocalypse comes, meetings will still be a thing.
• Tip 5: Learn to thrive in minute meetings. It's all about efficiency, folks.

And remember, when the world ends, we'll be there, sipping our fancy apocalypse coffee and sipping our fancy apocalypse wine. Don't be a doomsday prepper, be a doomsday prophet!

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