Financial Armageddon Forecasting - The Prophetic Outlook

The Prophets of the Apocalypse have spoken, and they're not impressed.

Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated prophets has been monitoring market trends for years, and our latest forecast is grim. A 500% chance of financial Armageddon by 2025. Don't @ us, we're not trying to be right.

Key Predictions:

Global economic collapse: 80% certainty
Unemployment: 90% chance of exceeding 10%
Stock market crash: 100% certainty

2024 Forecasting Quantifying the Uncertainty

Don't worry, it's just a prediction. Or is it?