Financial Armageddon Survival Guide

By the Prophets of the Apocalypse, Inc.

Chapter 1: The End of the World as We Know It

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It's the end of the world as we know it, and the economy is going down the drain. But don't worry, we've got you covered.

Step 1: Panic. Like, really panic. Like, cry-in-the-bathroom-panicked. Because, let's face it, the apocalypse is coming, and it's going to be a wild ride.

Step 2: Gather your emergency supplies. We recommend: 1 gallon of water, 1 month of non-perishable snacks, 1 first-aid kit, and 1 copy of "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu (just kidding, that's not going to be necessary).

Step 3: Find a safe house. Somewhere with a bunker, preferably. Or a fallout shelter. Or a treehouse. Anything with a "safe" sign on it, really.

Step 4: Call your insurance company. Tell them you need coverage for financial Armageddon. They'll probably laugh, but just go with it.

Step 5: Pray for a miracle. Or, you know, just drink a few beers and pretend the apocalypse never happened.

Chapter 2: The Avalanche of Debt

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