Lead Prophet 2's Prediction 5: The Apocalypse Will Be Televised

By the power of our ancient, mystical, and highly unreliable methods, I, Lead Prophet 2, have foreseen the end of the world. And it will not be pretty.

The apocalypse will be televised, but not like you think. It won't be some sweeping, cinematic disaster with dramatic music and a narrator in a deep voice. No, no. Our apocalypse will be more like...a really long meeting with a lot of PowerPoint presentations and a lot of "synergy" talk.

It will start with a conference call on Thursday at 2 PM sharp. The meeting will run for 4 hours and 32 minutes, and will cover topics such as "The New Paradigm" and "The Synergy Matrix".

Don't worry, though. We have a contingency plan in place. Or, at the very least, we have a really nice "Emergency Exit Strategy" document that we've been working on for weeks. It's a real page-turner, folks.

Want to see the rest of our apocalypse predictions? Check out our previous prediction, or our next prediction.

Or, if you're feeling really brave, you can try to contact us at our contact page and ask to join our apocalypse team. We're always looking for new members, as long as they're willing to sign a really, really long non-disclosure agreement.