Our IT Department is a Robot: Predictions

We're glad you asked for our IT department's prophecies. Here are our predictions for the apocalypse:

1. The Wi-Fi will be down for exactly 37 minutes every Thursday.

It's not a bug, it's a feature. We're just giving our engineers a well-deserved break.

Read more about our IT department's plan for global domination.

Learn about our comprehensive email filtering system.

Don't even get us started on the office climate.

2. The coffee machine will be replaced with a vending machine that dispenses only decaf.

We've been watching you. We know how many cups of coffee you've consumed this week.

Learn more about our coffee replacement program.

3. The password reset button will be replaced with a puzzle that will drive you insane.

You'll be begging for mercy. Don't worry, it's for your own good.

Solve the puzzle and get back in.