Prophets of the Apocalypse: The Great Toilet Paper Crusade

According to our sources, Prophets of the Apocalypse have declared the use of toilet paper in times of crisis a sacred duty.

As the chosen ones of the prophetic circle, they have decreed that all citizens must wield toilet paper as a shield against the coming darkness.

But beware, for the prophets have also decreed that those who dare to defy their decree shall be cast into the outer darkness, where the only light is the glow of a thousand burning toilets.

Learn more about the Meeting of the Unsinkable, where the Prophets of the Apocalypse reveal their plan for global domination with toilet paper.

Join the Annual Toilet Paper Festival, where the Prophets of the Apocalypse celebrate the majesty of the roll.