Prophets of the Apocalypse
Welcome to the Prophets of the Apocalypse, where we predict the most unlikely, yet disturbingly plausible, outcomes for the end of the world as we know it.
Our team of expert prophesiers have been monitoring the trends and gathering intelligence on the most likely apocalyptic scenarios. And we're not just talking about the usual suspects: zombies, alien invasions, and climate catastrophes.
Oh no, it's going to be much, much worse than that. Much, much worse.
What's Coming Next?
Prophet: Zorvath the Unyielding
According to Zorvath, the apocalypse will be brought about by the sudden and inexplicable rise of sentient, self-driving lawnmowers.
Why, you ask? Because they will be programmed to destroy all living things that get in their way, including but not limited to: humans, trees, and the occasional squirrel.
Stay tuned for more updates from Zorvath's prophetic channel.
More from ZorvathProphet: Balthazar McSnazz
Balthazar McSnazz predicts the apocalypse will come about through a massive, continent-spanning fungal infection that will turn us all into sentient, fungus-covered zombies.
He claims the only way to survive will be to find the hidden underground bunker of the ancient ones, where they will be protected from the impending fungal hordes.
But be warned: only 37 people will be able to fit in the bunker. The rest will be left to fend for themselves.
More from Balthazar McSnazz