Prophet's Guide to Toilet Paper Rationing

Welcome to the Apocalypse, where toilet paper is as scarce as hope.

In a world gone mad, even the most mundane tasks become a challenge. Rationing toilet paper is a matter of life and death.

Step 1: Assess Your Toilet Paper Situation

Gather all your toilet paper stock, and sort it by roll size.

• Large rolls: 1 per person, per day.
• Small rolls: 2 per person, per hour.
• Wipes: 1 per 5 minutes of desperation.

Calculate your toilet paper-to-person ratio. Is it above 1:1? Congratulations, you're a toilet paper millionaire!

Step 2: Prioritize Your Toilet Paper Use

Assign toilet paper usage based on urgency:

1. For use by the prophet: 1 roll, per minute.
2. For guests: 1 roll, per visit.
3. For the unwashed masses: 1 roll, per week.

Adjust as needed, but remember, the prophet's needs come first.

For more advanced toilet paper rationing strategies, visit:

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