As a True Seer, I have dedicated my life to the art of finding ways to do nothing.
My powers of prophecy are unmatched, but only when it comes to avoiding work.
I can sense the presence of deadlines from miles away, and can predict with certainty that I will not meet them.
My clients are few, but they are devoted. They know that when they need a prophet to tell them what they should be doing, I am the one to call.
But be warned, my prophecies come with a steep price: a guaranteed 50% chance of boredom, a 75% chance of confusion, and a 99% chance of getting stuck in a loop of 'just five more minutes'.