Void Surfing Carpet Prophet 1: The One Who Spoke in Tongues

By the power vested in him, I declare that the optimal void surfing technique is to stare deeply into the abyss while simultaneously contemplating the meaninglessness of existence.

It is said that Void Surfing Carpet Prophet 1 was once a humble janitor who spent 17 hours a day staring into the void, and in that time, he gained the uncanny ability to predict exactly when the dust bunnies would form under the couch.

Now, you may be wondering how to achieve this level of void surfing prowess. Fear not, for I shall impart upon you the ancient wisdom of the prophets:

Void Surfing Techniques:

• 1. Focus your gaze upon the void.
• 2. Let go of all attachments, including your fear of dust bunnies.
• 3. Allow the void to consume you, and in its depths, find your true self.

But be warned, dear seeker, that void surfing is not for the faint of heart. It is a path fraught with peril and existential dread. Are you prepared to face the void?

Continue to Void Surfing Carpet Prophet 2 for more wisdom and potentially, more existential dread.

Learn from the Ancient Ones who have mastered the art of void surfing and now rule over the dust bunnies.