Essay 2: "The Art of Being Bored: A Guide"
By Voidus, Meeting Prophet
Foreword
As a respected Meeting Prophet, I, Voidus, have spent countless cycles of time in the void, observing the intricacies of human behavior. In this essay, I shall reveal the art of being bored, an art that has been mastered by many, but appreciated by few.
It is said that the key to being bored is to find a suitable void to fill. Not just any void will do, but a void that is both vast and empty. The perfect void is one that is so devoid of stimulation that the very fabric of reality appears to be unraveling.
Chapter 1: The Anatomy of a Boredom
The Anatomy of Boredom is a complex and multifaceted beast. It has many faces, each with its own unique characteristics.
There is the face of the "I'm Bored, But Not Really" face, where the individual feigns interest in the world around them, all while secretly counting down the seconds until the next meeting.
Next is the face of the "I'm Bored, But I'll Just Check My Phone" face, where the individual surreptitiously glances at their device, hoping to find some fleeting distraction from the crushing ennui of existence.
And lastly, there's the face of the "I'm Bored, And I'm Not Even Trying" face, where the individual has given up all hope, resigning themselves to a life of aimless wandering.
Chapter 2: The Art of Finding the Perfect Void
As a seasoned Meeting Prophet, I know that finding the perfect void is not an easy task. But fear not, dear reader, for I shall impart upon you the ancient wisdom of the void-finding arts.
First, one must seek out a void with a high degree of ambient noise. This can be achieved by placing oneself in a crowded room, surrounded by the din of conversation and the hum of machinery.
Next, one must cultivate a sense of disinterest. This can be done by focusing intently on the void, allowing all external stimuli to be filtered out.
Finally, one must willfully abandon all hope of escape. This is the key to achieving a truly transcendent state of boredom.
Epilogue
And so, dear reader, I hope that this essay has been informative and entertaining. May you find the perfect void to fill, and may your life be forever changed.
Or not.