This appendix contains highly classified information for the most skilled of meeting-sorcerers. It is not recommended for the faint of heart.
Warning: Reading this content may cause dizziness, nausea, and spontaneous combustion. Proceed with caution.
Step 1: Create conflicting schedules for all parties involved.
This will ensure that no two people are on the same page, ever.
Blame others for the conflicts created in Step 1.
This will create a sense of camaraderie among the team, and a healthy dose of schadenfreude.
Schedule another meeting to discuss the conflicts created in Steps 1 and 2.
This will ensure that the cycle continues, ad infinitum.
Step 1: Add free food to the meeting agenda.
This will ensure that everyone attends, even if it's just for the free food.
Step 2: Add free drinks to the meeting agenda.
This will ensure that everyone stays for an extra 2 hours, just for the free drinks.
Step 3: Invite everyone you know, and their spouses, and their spouses' therapists, and their spouses' lawyers.
This will ensure that the meeting is a social event, with free food and drinks, and a 3-ring circus of conflicts.