You have been brought here for a meeting that has already been rescheduled three times. We're not even sure it's still on the calendar. But we're here now, so let's just get into it.
As the Meeting Sorcerer, I have decreed that we must meet to discuss THE AGENDA.
But first, let's talk about how we're going to get coffee. Or maybe not.
Legend has it that the Meeting Sorcerer's Guild once had a secret wardrobe of power, hidden deep within the bowels of the conference room.
Said to contain an infinite supply of meeting supplies, including but not limited to: extra copies of the agenda, a 100-foot long extension cord for the projector, and a 1987 edition of "The Art of the Meeting."
But alas, the wardrobe was lost in a fire, and the Meeting Sorcerer was left to start anew.