The Manifesto of the Secret Society of Meeting Sorcerers

Article I: The Preamble

We, the Sorcerers, do hereby declare that meetings shall be the most productive use of our time. We reject the notion of productivity without meetings.

Article II: The Purpose

Our purpose is to gather, discuss, and re-discuss until the optimal solution is reached, or until we run out of snacks.

Article III: The Principles

We hold the following principles sacred: The Power of the Agenda, The Infallibility of the Chairperson, and The Unyielding of the Meeting Minutes.

Article IV: The Practices

We engage in the following practices: The Art of the Elevator Pitch, The Science of Active Listening, and The Sport of Competitive Note-taking.

Article V: The Goals

We strive for the following goals: The Maximization of Time, The Minimization of Conflict, and The Optimization of the Meeting Schedule.

Article VI: The Ratification

We, the Sorcerers, do hereby ratify this manifesto and vow to uphold its principles and practices for the benefit of all humanity.

Article VII: The Amendment

This manifesto may be amended at the discretion of the Chairperson, but only with the consent of the majority of the Sorcerers.

Article VIII: The Termination

This manifesto shall be terminated upon the exhaustion of all possible meeting topics, or upon the depletion of all available snacks.

Article IX: The Succession

In the event of the termination, the Society shall be dissolved, and the Sorcerers shall disperse to form new, more productive meetings.