Meeting Terms: Because Repeatedly Discussing the Same Things Is the New Black

Here are the official terms for attending meetings in the year 2023:

• Agenda item 1: The meeting will start at 3:00 PM sharp. If you arrive late, you will be forced to eat a 10-minute-long PowerPoint slide.
• Agenda item 2: We will discuss the same three bullet points as last week, because why fix what ain't broke?
• Agenda item 3: We will take a 15-minute break for snacks. During this time, you are expected to re-read the 2018 company report and prepare for your presentation.
• Agenda item 4: Reviewing last week's meeting notes, because someone forgot to bring their laptop.
• Agenda item 5: Creating a new agenda, because the previous one is too exciting.
• Agenda item 6: Engaging in pointless debates with your colleagues, because who doesn't love a good argument?

By attending these meetings, you agree to the terms and conditions listed above. If you have any questions, please don't ask, because we'll get to that next week.