Due to overwhelming demand, we are introducing a new policy regarding foosball tables in the office.
Effective immediately, all employees are required to play foosball at least 2 hours daily, or face disciplinary action.
This policy is not negotiable, and any attempts to opt-out will be met with stern resistance from management.
For your convenience, a foosball table has been installed in the break room, complete with a complimentary supply of beer.
However, please note that the foosball table is not for the faint of heart. It has been known to induce rage, despair, and spontaneous combustion in some individuals.
- Unpredictable mood swings
- Uncontrollable rage
- Temporary loss of motor function
- Permanent damage to relationships
By signing below, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and will not sue over the foosball policy.
Or, you know, just don't sign it and we'll pretend you're not here.