John Doe is our resident prophesier. He's been predicting the future since 1987, and he's got a 50% success rate. That's better than our stock market analyst, and he doesn't even need a fancy degree from Harvard.
We're not sure what kind of magic he uses to see into the future, but it involves a lot of staring at the back of his hand and muttering to himself.
Some of his most notable predictions include:
- 1987: "I predict we'll run out of donuts by the end of the year."
- 1990: "I predict a 50% chance of a 50% chance of rain."
- 2001: "I predict a new millennium will start."
- 2010: "I predict we'll still be using these ancient computers for another 5 years."
We're not sure what the future holds, but we're sure it'll be something like this:
2024 Forecast