Meet the Needlessly Narrative Narrator, the patron saint of meetings that go on for hours. Their technique involves telling a story that's just slightly longer than the meeting itself, but still manages to capture the essence of the discussion.
Step 1: Start with a brief setup that's just a little too long.
Step 2: Add a few unnecessary tangents that make everyone question the purpose of the meeting.
Step 3: Repeat step 1, with slight variations, until everyone's eyes glaze over.
And that's it! With this technique, you'll be the master of unnecessary meetings in no time.
Technique 5: The Unnecessarily Verbose Navigator
Or, if you will, Technique 5: The Somewhat Less Bad But Still Terrible Technique
Both will be available after the meeting, when everyone has had sufficient time to recover from the needlessly narrative experience.