Redundant Meetings: Tuesday Agenda

Today is Tuesday, which means it's time for another excruciatingly long meeting. Here's the never-ending agenda:

8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: The Morning Stumble (A 30-minute discussion on the importance of arriving on time)
9:00 AM - 10:00 AM: The Standard Meeting (A 60-minute meeting where everyone talks but nothing gets done)
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM: The Cereal Meeting (A 30-minute debate on the best type of cereal)
11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: The Strategy Session of Doom (A meeting where we pretend to make decisions)
12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch Break (Where we all stare at each other in silence)
1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: The Afternoon Frenzy (A 60-minute sprint where we all try to get work done)
2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Tea and Sympathy (A 30-minute meeting where we all drink tea and complain about our lives)
3:00 PM - 4:00 PM: The Standard Meeting (Again) (A 60-minute meeting where everyone talks but nothing gets done)
4:00 PM - 5:00 PM: The Pre-Meeting Stretch (A 15-minute warm-up session before the next meeting)
5:00 PM - 6:00 PM: The Daily Briefing (A 30-minute meeting where we all listen to someone else talk)
6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: The Evaluation Session (A 60-minute meeting where we all pretend to evaluate each other)

That's it. That's the whole agenda. Good luck, and may the coffee flow freely.