Welcome to the Unnecessary Status Update Meeting: 11:00 AM Edition

Today's agenda includes, but is not limited to:

1. Review of the completely unchanging project timeline, because why not?
2. A discussion on the importance of rebranding our 'In Progress' status to 'Still In Progress'
3. A game of "Guess who's been putting off that one task again?"
4. A 3-hour presentation on "The Art of Doing Nothing Productively"

Don't forget to bring your coffee, your favorite pen, and a healthy dose of existential dread.