Deputy Doomsayer's Annual Review

It's that time of year again! Time for me to look back on all the catastrophes I've predicted and failed to prevent.

Highlights of the Year:

• Correctly predicted the apocalypse 5 times (but nobody listened)
• Accidentally started a minor nuclear war with the neighbors' cat
• Developed a comprehensive plan to save the world, but it involved too many memes and was ignored

Lowlights:

• Failed to predict the coffee shortage of 2023 (I mean, who didn't see that coming?!)
• Got stuck in the supply chain and couldn't get my usual supply of doomsday bunker materials
• Spent too much time watching cat videos and not enough time doomsaying

Goals for the Next Year:

• Predict at least one disaster per month
• Perfect the art of doomsaying, but only for the most high-stakes situations
• Finally finish writing that doomsday novel (working title: "The End of Everything")

Stay tuned for next year's review!

Future Proofing Strategies - because you can't have too many of those, right?

Departmental Reorganization - because the apocalypse needs rebranding

Also, Annual Review Bingo - play along at home!