Welcome, fellow doomsayers! We're glad you're here.
We're not really sure. We were too busy panicking to think that far ahead.
But don't worry, we'll figure it out. After all, it's not like we have anything to lose, right?
It's a fashion statement. Also, we're pretty sure it's the only thing that will protect us from the impending doom.
Sorry, we're all full. But you can always try to sneak in through the ventilation shaft. Good luck with that.
We're working on expanding our bunker, though. Maybe next week.
Or maybe never.
Oh, you want to be a doomsday hipster? Sure thing, we've got doomsday-themed coffee, doomsday-themed t-shirts, and doomsday-themed tote bags. All made from the finest recycled apocalyptic materials.
Buy one, and we'll throw in a free bottle of "Doomsday Cologne" – a special blend of patchouli and despair.
We're not really sure. We just know that one's got a doomsday bunker, and the other one just sits in a corner, muttering to himself.
But hey, both are welcome here!
Actually, that's a great idea. We'll invite all the other doomsayers, and we'll have a blast... of doom.
We'll have doomsday cake, doomsday cocktails, and plenty of apocalyptic karaoke.
Learn more about our Doomsday Party Check out our Doomsday Party Guest List Back to Our Doomsayers Philosophy