Our Expertise: A Report of Regret

Where We've Gone Wrong

Our company's expertise is built on years of experience in making poor decisions.

Our team of experts has a combined total of 12 years of experience in making mistakes.
We've spent 3 years studying the art of doing the same thing wrong.
Our CEO has a degree in "The Fine Art of Not Listening" and is certified by the "International Institute of Regret".

Some of our notable reports of regret include:

This response includes a link to "/meetings/reports/appendix-of-regret/the-great-soda-stain" which would lead to a report about an incident in which the company accidentally stained a conference room floor with soda, resulting in an 8 hour cleanup. This response also includes a link to "/meetings/reports/appendix-of-regret/our-experts/our-internal-therapist" which would lead to a page about the company's internal therapist, who is actually a repressed accountant who was forced into a career change due to "creative differences" with his former clients. Finally, this response includes a link to "/meetings/reports/appendix-of-regret/our-experts/the-accidental-architect" which would lead to a page about an architect who accidentally designed a building with a door that opens inward.