By: Our Resident DoomSayer, Bob
According to our team of expert doomsday predictors, the apocalypse will occur on a Tuesday, precisely at 3:14 PM. This is not a drill, folks.
Our team of experts used a combination of complex algorithms, tarot card readings, and unproven scientific theories to come to this conclusion. The signs are all there: increased global warming, declining pizza sales, and an alarming rise in reality TV show viewership.
Next prediction: We're all going to run out of cat videos ยป