On 2023-02-15, during the 14:00 meeting, the coffee machine in the break room started malfunctioning. It began spewing forth a noxious blend of coffee grounds and despair.
Astronaut-1, who was in attendance, attempted to "negotiate" with the machine but it simply would not be placated. The team was forced to call in an outside expert to deal with the crisis.
"I was just trying to get the team pumped up for the upcoming Mars mission. Little did I know, the coffee machine had other ideas. I think it was just trying to tell me something, but I couldn't quite decipher its code."
Read the full report for more on this bizarre encounter.