Bob Is Terminated (Sorry, Bob)

Reason for Demotion: Gross Incompetence

Due to an overwhelming number of mistakes and questionable life choices, Bob has been let go. Please do not attempt to rehire him, as he will only continue to disappoint.

His impressive resume includes:

Over 500 reported instances of microwaving fish
Accused of eating the office supplies
Three separate instances of setting the copier on fire

Next Steps:

For those affected by Bob's departure, there will be a support group meeting next Thursday. Details:

When: Next Thursday
Where: The local tavern, down the street, at 5 PM
What to bring: Yourself, a willingness to share, and a strong stomach

For those interested in replacing Bob, there are two available positions: Janitor and Coffee Machine Operator. Send resumes to: Bob Replacement Resume Guidelines.

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